The themes in Hamlet Essay Example for Free

The themes in Hamlet Essay Hamlet by William Shakespeare is a revenge tragedy that illustrates a tragic heros struggle with two opposing forces: moral integrity, and the need to avenge his fathers murder. Hamlet the prince of Denmark discovers from his fathers ghost that his father has been murdered with malicious premeditation and this atrocious act was committed by none other than his uncle Claudius. Inevitably Hamlet is instigated to seek revenge, however is incapable of such action due to the need for certainty and other emotional, psychological, and ethical factors; thus he remains indecisive. Through Hamlets complex, divided, introspective character and with the help of such an intriguing plot Shakespeare exposes the themes of immorality, revenge, and death; which are evidently the most significant and recurring themes throughout the play. Immorality plays a significant role in the play. The plot commences with Claudius not only committing the immoral act of regicide but also repulsively seducing the queen into marriage; completely disrupting the natural order of Denmark. Therefore Claudius has deprived the prior king of life, of crown, of queen Such corruption leads to Denmark being represented as a physical body which has been made ill as the people come to believe that something is rotten in the state. (I, iv, 90) The appearance of the previous kings ghost confirms a sense of foreboding about the future of the country since the new king has forced himself onto the throne through corrupt means. All this corruption affects Hamlets view of the world as well, where he comes to believe that the world is merely possessed by things rank in gross in nature. ( I, ii, 136) Even before Hamlet encounters his fathers ghost who reveals the truth about the murder, Hamlet is searing with indignation over how his mother with most wicked speed, [did] post with such dexterity to incestuous sheets (I,ii,156 157) Thus Hamlet foreshadows that such dissolute deeds cannot come to good (I. ii. 158) However when the ghost does reveal the truth Hamlet is overwhelmed with disgust at the immorality and injustice of his own uncles and his mothers foul deeds. Inevitably the occurrences of such immoral acts have brought a burning need within Hamlet, a need to seek to revenge; which is another significant theme that recurs throughout the play. Indisputably, revenge is probably the most essential theme in the development of Hamlet. Revenge is a dreadful, decadent and a bloodthirsty emotion and is the driving force behind two of the main characters in the play- Hamlet and Laertes. However Shakespeares conduct of revenge within Hamlet differs completely to the quintessential style of revenge during his era. Shakespeares illustration of revenge delves more into the physiological and moral aspect of seeking revenge; where he portrays that revenge is not an action that usually comes innately because even overpowering emotion cannot bring about immediate action. Therefore Hamlet contemplates heavily and plans the revenge, but fails to put his ideas into action until the last scene. The first sign of revenge is evidently seen in the beginning where Hamlets fathers ghost urges him to revenge his foul and most unnatural murder. (I. v.25). However Hamlet was still not convinced by the ghost as he believes it may be the devil( II,ii) Therefore in order to catch Claudiuss conscience and prove the ghosts message, Hamlet has a play enacted in the scenario of his fathers murder. This shows Hamlets need for certainty and deep contemplation. Even after The kings outburst when he had the perfect opportunity to kill whilst he was praying, Hamlet failed to perform. Hamlet states Now he is praying a villain kills my father and for that, I, his sole son, do this same villain send to heaven( III,iii). It is evident that Hamlet is a man with too much reason (III.ii) and not enough action. One could argue that it is as if he develops excuses for not completing the deed, mainly because he is human and that the deed is immoral. Therefore he is incapable of performing such action immediately. This proves that every action; even revenge is affected by rational considerations, involving the need for truth or certainty as well as moral, physiological and emotional factors. Nevertheless it seems as though Hamlet disbelieves the notion of performing a deed in a purposeful and controlled way; because when Hamlet does take action; killing Polonius, he prefers to do it irresponsibly, blindly and viciously. It evidently shows his thirst for revenge as well as the obscurity and complexity of his character. Hamlets blind, irrational, and impulsive, manner of killing Polonius without being aware of his identitiy formulates the beginning of a vicious cycle of retribution; as Hamlet becomes a part of Denmarks squalor and misery. This irrepressible and unjustifiable murder instigated Laertess(Poloniuss son) quest to avenge his fathers death. Later on in act 5 Hamlet and Laertes have the opportunity to avenge their fathers in a gruesome duel. However this only leads to their downfall, revenges eventual outcome- death. Shakespeare utilizes the theme of death as a cleanser of corruption, as all the corrupt players are killed through unnatural means which ultimately restores the natural order of Denmark. As destined the characters receive the deaths they deserve. Thus the king dies in Hamlets hand as well as being poisoned like the queen, whereas Hamlet dies in a soldierly fashion being provided the respect a soldier deserves. Inevitably death is seen as the ultimate resolution for immoral injustice. Death is not only seen as a cleanser of corruption but according to Hamlet death carries various meaning involving freedom, inevitability and the fact that death renders life meaningless. It is evident that Hamlets obsession with death works in three stages: death as a means of escape or freedom, his circle of life theory and the physical decay of death which proves the futility of life. From the very beginning Hamlets seems to find the world weary, stale, flat and unprofitable. (I,ii,129-134) and would have ended his agony by committing suicide if the everlasting had not fixed his canon `gainst self-slaughter. ( I. ii. 129-134) Hamlet ponders over the means to handle his outrageous fortune(III,i, lines 58-70)and contemplates whether he should fight the slings and arrows (III,i lines 58-70) that life has thrown upon him or he should end the heart ache and a thousand natural shocks (III, i,lines 58-70) by killing himself. However he is afraid of the after life and chooses the nobler (III. i, 58-70) path to face the suffering of life in order to avoid the gruesome aftermath of death. According to Hamlet aftermath can also involve the grave where the person has to face worms and maggots feeding on him, evidently pointing out that death is a leveler which inevitably everyone is entitled for. Therefore he believes that life goes around in a circle because a man may fish with the worm that hath eat of a king, and eat of the fish that hath feed of that worm. (IV,iii, 30-32) Hamlet also believes that life is meaningless because after death all physical beauty is lost. So with Yoricks skull in hand he reminisces upon all the moments he spent with Yorick and what has become of him now. Likewise, regardless of how women emphasize on their beauty; as Hamlet states to this favor she must come. (V. i. 192-195) Evidently Shakespeare, through the voice of Hamlet proves that all the greed and lust for power eventually leads to nothing in the face of death. Shakespeares utilization of the significant intertwining themes of death, revenge and immorality, he is able to coherently elucidate how immoral injustice can never be restored and unless all the corrupt players are purged and a new king, in this case Fortinbras, is crowned. In addition Shakespeare also exposes that ultimately revenge is not the solution for internal peace but rather when committed it brings forth chaos and disorder within the society; forcing death to be the only resolution to cleanse the corruption and bring back peace and harmony to the state. In the process of the play these universal themes are dealt not in the conventional sense but in a reality based fashion which any human being can easily relate to, and this is what makes Hamlet such a tour de force.

Examining The Network Simulations Of NS2 Information Technology Essay

Examining The Network Simulations Of NS2 Information Technology Essay NS2 is a Linux based tool to perform network simulations. NS2 is based on C++ and TCL programming Languages. TCL uses simple commands to define network configuration and C++ allows users to adjust protocol functionalities in detail and also to define new protocols. Our Project involves simulation of VoIP over two transport layer protocols UDP and SCTP. Installation of NS2: Installation of NS2 involves many steps. These Steps are: Checking for pre-requisites: Please make sure that you have installed the fedora 12 O.S with all packages and you are logged in as administrator. Downloading latest version of NS2: We first Downloaded NS2 v. 2.34 from: http://sourceforge.net/projects/nsnam/files/allinone/ns-allinone-2.34/ns-allinone-2.34.tar.gz/download Extracting the NS2 package: Extract the contents of .tar file in a directory and go into that directory. The following snapshot shows the extracted file against .tar file. Patching of SCTP module: Initially NS2 does not provide support to SCTP, so we have to download apply its patch before installation of NS2. The patch can be downloaded from http://pel.cis.udel.edu Now untar the patch in a directory and type the given command in terminal: patch -p0 Now we are ready to install NS2 with SCTP module. Installation of NS2 : We can either install NS2 by typing commands in the terminal. Or we can do this by simply double clicking the install file. The snapshot below shows the later. Now the installation has started. It would take some time to complete it. Configuring the installation path of NS2: The terminal will get get closed after installation of NS2. Now open terminal again and type: gedit ~/.bashrc to configure the path file Now edit this file as in the figure: Now save and close bash file and type following command in the terminal to tell your O.S about the path of NS2: source ~/.bashrc Confirming the installation of NS2: To confirm that NS2 is correctly installed, type ns in the terminal. The outlook of the terminal will be changed in this way: (Else it would print some filter of error in the terminal.) To revert to the normal mode type exit in the terminal. Running a simple code on NS2: NS2 executes .tcl file format. If you have followed all the previous steps, then you can execute a .tcl file by typing the following syntax in the terminal: ns [file name].tcl But make sure you are the directory where the .tcl file is present. e.g: Here we have a sample code script.tcl. In this code we are simulating a simple topology of two wired nodes. On typing ns script.tcl in the terminal, we get the following output: Handling the output trace file: On execution of .tcl code, two output files are generated. One is the .nam file with which we see the graphical simulation of our code. The other one is the .tr trace file, with which we can analyze the output of our simulation. The trace file looks like: It contains various parameters such as arrival time of packets, packet size transport agent etc. Using the trace file, we can get the graphical outputs to analyze the behavior of our simulation. To do this we need a graph drawing software such as xgraph or gnuplot. Here we are using gnuplot. But to draw a graph, we need to filter the trace file and get the coordinates out of which we can draw a graph. To filter a trace file, we write an awk script. Since we have to draw graphs for latency and throughput, therefore we will write one script for each type of graph. The awk script for latency is: #latency BEGIN { time1 = 0.0; time2 = 0.0; } { time2 = $2; if ($1==r) { printf(%f %fn, time1, time2) > latency; time1 += $2; } } END { print(Done); } And awk script for throughput is: #throughput BEGIN { node =1; time1 = 0.0; time2 = 0.0; num_packet=0; bytes_counter=0; } { time2 = $2; if (time2 time1 > 0.05) { thru = bytes_counter / (time2-time1); thru /= 1000000; printf(%f %fn, time2, thru) > throughput; time1 = $2; } if ($1==r) { bytes_counter += $6; num_packet++; } } END { print(Done); } Now type the following command in the terminal to filter the trace file: gawk file=[awk file name].awk [trace file name].tr The filtered file would be like this: Now weve to give a plot for which our graph is to be ploted. (i.e: weve to tell about the x and y coordinates) So we create a simple file in which we tell about these parameters. set title VoIP over UDP Latency! set grid set ylabel s set xlabel time plot latency w linespoints title voip throughput Now type gnuplot in the terminal to enter into gnuplot mode. Here type the command: load [x-y parameters file] (inner double quotes inclusive) And type exit to exit gnuplot Formation of VOIP Traffic over the Network: VoIP (Voice over IP) is simply the transmission of voice traffic over IP-based networks. The Internet Protocol (IP) was originally designed for data networking.   It is also referred to as IP  Telephony  or Internet Telephony. Simulating VOIP in NS2: VoIP is basically just UDP packets encapsulating RTP packets with the voice data inside, all you should need to do to simulate a VoIP stream is set the correct packet size and frequency that the packets are sent out and that would simulate a stream. In NS2 we will implement VOIP over UDP and SCTP protocols. We will implement VOIP using a simple two-node topology. For this we will do the following steps: create two .tcl files simulate VOIP traffic handle the trace files to draw graphs for latency and throughput for evaluation between the two protocols Simulation of VoIP over the network using UDP: Creating the tcl file:- First create a tcl file for Voip simulation over UDP protocol. Given below is the source code for our file voip_udp.tcl # start new simulation set ns [new Simulator] # setup tracing/nam set tr [open voip.tr w] set nf [open voip.nam w] $ns trace-all $tr $ns namtrace-all $nf # finish function, close all trace files and open up nam proc finish {} { global ns nf tr $ns flush-trace close $nf close $tr exec nam voip.nam exit 0 } ### creating nodes set node0 [$ns node] $node0 label Voice 1 $node0 color red set node1 [$ns node] $node1 label Voice 2 $node1 color blue # creating duplex-link $ns duplex-link $node0 $node1 256Kb 50ms DropTail $ns duplex-link-op $node0 $node1 orient right # setup colors $ns color 1 Yellow $ns color 2 Green ## 2-way VoIP connection #Create a UDP agent and attach it to node0 set udp0 [new Agent/UDP] $ns attach-agent $node0 $udp0 # set udp0 flowid to 1 $udp0 set fid_ 1 # Create a CBR traffic source and attach it to udp0 set cbr0 [new Application/Traffic/CBR] $cbr0 set packetSize_ 128 $cbr0 set interval_ 0.020 # set traffic class to 1 $cbr0 set class_ 1 $cbr0 attach-agent $udp0 # Create a Null sink to receive UDP set sinknode1 [new Agent/LossMonitor] $ns attach-agent $node1 $sinknode1 # Connect the UDP traffic source to Null sink $ns connect $udp0 $sinknode1 set udp1 [new Agent/UDP] $ns attach-agent $node1 $udp1 $udp1 set fid_ 2 set cbr1 [new Application/Traffic/CBR] $cbr1 set packetSize_ 128 $cbr1 set interval_ 0.020 $cbr1 set class_ 2 $cbr1 attach-agent $udp1 set sinknode0 [new Agent/LossMonitor] $ns attach-agent $node0 $sinknode0 $ns connect $udp1 $sinknode0 # end of voice simulation setup # start up traffic $ns at 0.1 $cbr0 start $ns at 0.1 $cbr1 start $ns at 10.0 $cbr0 stop $ns at 10.0 $cbr1 stop $ns at 10.5 finish # run the simulation $ns run Simulate VOIP traffic: Now type the following command in the terminal to view simulation of VOIP over UDP: ns voip_udp.tcl The output is: Performance of SCTP: Now we draw the graphs with gnuplot using above mentioned steps. The performance is evaluated on the basis of latency, throughput and capacity. The capacity can be evaluated with the help of latency and throughput. Latency: Throughput: Simulation of VoIP over the network using SCTP: Creating the tcl file:- First create a tcl file for Voip simulation over UDP protocol. Given below is the source code for our file voip_sctp.tcl # start new simulation set ns [new Simulator] # setup tracing/nam set tr [open voip.tr w] set nf [open voip.nam w] $ns trace-all $tr $ns namtrace-all $nf # finish function, close all trace files and open up nam proc finish {} { global ns nf tr $ns flush-trace close $nf close $tr exec nam voip.nam exit 0 } ### creating nodes set n0 [$ns node] $n0 label Voice 1 $n0 color red set n1 [$ns node] $n1 label Voice 2 $n1 color blue # creating duplex-link $ns duplex-link $n0 $n1 256Kb 50ms DropTail $ns duplex-link-op $n0 $n1 orient right # setup colors $ns color 1 Yellow $ns color 2 Green ## 2-way VoIP connection #Create a UDP agent and attach it to n0 set sctp0 [new Agent/SCTP] $ns attach-agent $n0 $sctp0 $sctp0 set fid_ 1 set cbr0 [new Application/Traffic/CBR] $cbr0 set packetSize_ 128 $cbr0 set interval_ 0.020 # set traffic class to 1 $cbr0 set class_ 1 $cbr0 attach-agent $sctp0 # Create a Null sink to receive Data set sinknode1 [new Agent/LossMonitor] $ns attach-agent $n1 $sinknode1 set sctp1 [new Agent/SCTP] $ns attach-agent $n1 $sctp1 $sctp1 set fid_ 2 set cbr1 [new Application/Traffic/CBR] $cbr1 set packetSize_ 128 $cbr1 set interval_ 0.020 $cbr1 set class_ 2 $cbr1 attach-agent $sctp1 set sinknode0 [new Agent/LossMonitor] $ns attach-agent $n0 $sinknode0 $ns connect $sctp0 $sctp1 $ns at 0.1 $cbr0 start $ns at 0.1 $cbr1 start # stop up traffic $ns at 10.0 $cbr0 stop $ns at 10.0 $cbr1 stop # finish simulation $ns at 10.5 finish # run the simulation $ns run Simulate VOIP traffic: Now type the following command in the terminal to view simulation of VOIP over UDP: ns voip_sctp.tcl The output is: Performance of SCTP: Now we draw the graphs with gnuplot using above mentioned steps. The performance is evaluated on the basis of latency, throughput and capacity. The capacity can be evaluated with the help of latency and throughput. Latency: Throughput: Difference between SCTP and UDP: SCTP: SCTP Stands for Stream Control Transmission Protocol. It is a Transport Layer protocol. It is a connection-oriented protocol similar to TCP, but provides facilities such as multi-streaming and multi-homing for better performance and redundancy. It is used in Unix-like operating systems. UDP: UDP stands for User Datagram Protocol. It is a minimal message-oriented transport layer protocol. It enables two hosts to connect and send short messages to one another. Unlike Transmission Control Protocol (TCP), it does not guarantee that data is received or that it is received in the order in which it was sent. Comparison between SCTP and UDP: Message Orientation: In SCTP, message boundaries are preserved. If an application sends a 100-byte message, the peer application will receive all 100 bytes in a single read: no more, no less. UDP provides a message-oriented service, but without SCTPs reliability. Un-Ordered Service: In addition to ordered message service (and parallel ordered service discussed above), SCTP offers the reliable delivery of messages with no order constraints. UDP provides unordered service, but again without SCTPs reliability. Unordered reliable delivery will be useful for many applications, in particular disk over LAN services (iSCSI, RDMA, etc.) where the application already provides ordering. Stronger checksum: SCTP uses a 32-bit end-to-end checksum proven to be mathematically stronger than the 16-bit ones-complement sum used by UDP. SCTPs better checksum provides stronger verification that a message passes end-to-end without bit errors going undetected. These were some of the differences between SCTP and UDP. A tabulated contrast between the two protocols is given below: Services/Features SCTP UDP Connection-oriented yes no Full duplex yes yes Reliable data transfer yes no Partial-reliable data transfer optional no Ordered data delivery yes no Unordered data delivery yes yes Flow control yes no Congestion control yes no ECN capable yes no Selective ACKs yes no Preservation of message boundaries yes yes Path MTU discovery yes no Application PDU fragmentation yes no Application PDU bundling yes no Multistreaming yes no Multihoming yes no Protection against SYN flooding attacks yes n/a Allows half-closed connections no n/a Reachability check yes no Psuedo-header for checksum no (uses vtags) yes Time wait state for vtags n/a SCTP vs. UDP Latency: From the graphs of latency we conclude that latency is slightly higher in UDP. In real practice, latency in UDP is much higher than in SCTP. Practically, the latency in UDP is about 15% more than SCTP. Throughput: From the graphs of throughput we see that UDP shows a constant but less throughput while SCTP shows continuous fluctuations in its graph. But overall SCTP has a higher throughput than UDP. In real practice, throughput in SCTP is about 15% more than in UDP. Capacity: By observing the graphs of throughput, we conclude the SCTP can support more capacity than UDP. UDP will loose its performance at higher data rates. Conclusion: From the above statistics, we conclude that SCTP is better than UDP in terms of latency, throughput and capacity. Therefore there is no doubt in the fact that that SCTP is going to be the future of VOIP and many other network technologies. But since this technology is under the process of evolution so it may take some time for it to replace the older technologies like UDP and TCP etc. Refrences: http://yonghoon.livejournal.com/4799.html http://www.isoc.org/briefings/017/index.shtml http://www.google.com/dictionary?source=dict-chrome-exsl=entl=enq=sctp http://www.google.com/dictionary?langpair=en|enq=udphl=enaq=f http://mailman.isi.edu/pipermail/ns-users/2006-August/056723.html http://books.google.com.pk/books?id=bF3L7g1u_mQCpg=PA189lpg=PA189dq=udp+vs+sctp+latency+throughputsource=blots=zdb5JeCsMfsig=PPt8c4nvtcrIJcXr5eKBIe_GbkQhl=enei=XhIgTYCeLs-z8QO8_KS8BQsa=Xoi=book_resultct=resultresnum=2ved=0CB4Q6AEwAQ#v=onepageqf=true

Prison Writing :: essays research papers

The bleak prison world portrayed by George Jackson in his letter to Fay Stender, his attorney, develops into a concentrated and condensed view of American society. This microcosm evolves from faults within the socio-political structure of the state. Jackson draws similarities between the construct of American and prison life, which harmonised the unrest of black Americans during an era of the civil right movement. The links drawn add another dimension to the movement and the barbaric nature of American politics. To move away from Jackson’s letter, I would like to quote something that I believe is essential to Jackson’s view of the prison system: I feel like an alien in here because this whole prison system is created in such a way as to cut me off from my culture, my religion. There is no way I can describe the effect it has on me to be forcefully separated from my very way of life. The values of the white man, I do not understand. I don’t understand a culture that believes that it is good to fight one another for wealth, for material things†¦ These things I don’t understand, but it is the way of white man, and it is the way these prisoners are taught to be so that they can function properly in the white man’s society when they are released. This is part of an affidavit written to congress by a Native American called Timothy Reed, also known as Little Rock. The prison system is designed to remove one’s identity to replace it with an ‘American’ one. I have often thought that being American is more akin to a religion than a nationality. The nation’s zealous guarding of their identity condemns any notion outside their own. That a nation so young and bastardised could be so xenophobic is horrifically ironic considering America’s history. And it is this history that Jackson considers important to understanding ‘why racism exists at the prison with â€Å"particular prominence†Ã¢â‚¬â„¢ and goes on to answer ‘the larger question of why racism exists in [American] society with â€Å"particular prominence†, tied into history’. That ‘those who inhabit [the prison] and feed off its existence are historical products’, fixes on an evolution of America whic h not only creates the need for such prisons, but also creates a micro-society in its image. The perpetuation of the cruelty of American history exists inside the prison walls, where ‘overt racism exists unchecked.

Drug Use and Abuse by Teens Essay -- Teenage Drug Users

Drug addiction is becoming a major problem amongst teenagers. Nine out of every ten adults say that teachers should inform students about drug use." USA Today Many people don’t even realize that they use drugs. Alcohol is a drug. It is the most popular drug in America. People also don’t realize that alcohol is addictive until it’s too late. Alcohol is also very dangerous. On September 13, 2000, I witnessed a crash by my house. A guy skidded across the road and ended up on my neighbor’s lawn. The windshield was cracked on the driver’s side. The driver looked at the smoking car and said that it was fine. He just needed to get it off the curb. When the police showed up, he asked the driver if he had hit his head on the windshield. The driver replied with â€Å"No." The driver was drunk and t...

Islands As A Narration Of A Yo :: essays research papers

A. Hemon’s Islands is the narrative of a young boys initiation into the adult world. The boy travels to a place he has never been before, far away from all the comforts of his childhood home. The island is full of secrets about the ‘adult world’ and the terrible things that can happen within it. While away, he learns shocking lessons about the world in which he lives, mainly from his Uncle Julius, who tells scary stories that he thinks the boy should know about. The boy is unprotected from everything on the island and everything it contains. Through this unprotected environment, he learns things about the adult world that are not learned anywhere else.   Ã‚  Ã‚  Ã‚  Ã‚  In the car on the way to the coast, the boy almost loses his voice by singing â€Å"communist songs the entire journey.† (129) By his singing songs about â€Å"mournful mothers looking through graves for their dead sons† and â€Å"the revolution† the boy demonstrates his naivity. He is, after all, just a young boy. His limited life experience is shown in his singing such songs, without understanding the full meanings and connotations that those songs carry. The boys’ innocence is emphasized here, as these are ‘adult’ songs and it is only, generally, children who sing on car journeys until their voices are gone.   Ã‚  Ã‚  Ã‚  Ã‚  Even before boarding the boat, the boy begins to notice how ugly age and adulthood can be. He notices the â€Å"gnarled knees , the spreading sweat stains on their shirts and sagging wrinkles of fat on their thighs.† (129) At one point, he sees â€Å"one of the Germans, an old, bony man† get down on his knees and then vomit over the pier edge. The boy sees this, but still relates it back to something he understands. â€Å"The vomit Catherine Henderson hit the surface and then dispersed in different directions, like children running away to hide from the seeker.† (130) Again, by relating something so grotesque to something so childlike and innocent, the boy reminds the reader that he is still just a young child, not yet ready to deal with this kind of adult vision.   Ã‚  Ã‚  Ã‚  Ã‚  Once boarded on the boat and sailing to Mljet, the boy loses his hat. It is not just a hat though, it is his hat that shielded him from the grown-ups and the adult way of life. If he wanted to look at them properly, he had to raise his head. The hat was a â€Å"round straw hat with all the seven dwarfs painted on it.† (129) When the gust of

Narcotics Anonymous Assignment Essay

My feelings about this assignment: When first reading the requirements of this assignment I was quite hesitant in approaching group counselling sessions as I was not aware of any in my area. A friend of mine whom I had not seen in a while told me that she was in a rehab facility for a month and was attending an outpatient programme. This was fantastic news and just the opportunity I was looking for, not only was this what I needed for my assignment but it was also an opportunity for me to support her. I asked her if it would be possible for me to go with her to one of her meetings and she was too happy to have me go with her. What is NA? Narcotics Anonymous is a global, community-based organization with a multi-lingual and multicultural membership. They offer recovery from the effects of addiction through working a twelve-step program, including regular attendance at group meetings. The group atmosphere provides help from peers and offers an ongoing support network for addicts who wish to pursue and maintain a drug-free lifestyle. The name, NA, is not meant to imply a focus on any particular drug; NA’s approach makes no distinction between drugs including alcohol. Membership is free, and they have no affiliation with any organizations outside of NA including governments, religions, law enforcement groups, or medical and psychiatric associations. Where is NA? There are various meetings held all over RSA, you can have a look on their website to see where the closest meeting is, when it takes place and whether it is a closed or open meeting. This meeting was held at AKESO Crescent Clinic. This is a rehab facility, the meeting is held in a conference room inside. Once you walk in you will see that the chairs are placed in a circle and behind it are more chairs placed in a bigger circle. The structure of the meeting: Chairperson opens the meeting and advises that it’s an open meeting, meaning that anyone can join, i.e. family, friends and other support structures. He then allows all to introduce them moving from the left to right. Each individual stands up, gives their name followed by the words, and I am an addict. He then asks if there are any new comers and mentions that the newcomer is the most important person at any meeting and although it may seem confusing at first, to keep an open mind and keep coming back. He then proceeds to advise that there is one rule at this meeting: that no drugs or drug paraphernalia be in your possession. If anyone is carrying, they are to leave and come back without them. If anyone is carrying a cell phone to please turn it off for the duration of the meeting. He then asks that someone reads the preambles. These pamphlets have been randomly placed on various chairs prior to the meeting, if you have one; you have the option to read it or to ask someone el se to read. The preambles are: Who is an addict? Why are we here? What is the NA Program? How it works? The twelve traditions We do recover At the meeting they then recognize specific landmarks in their recovery. 24 hours 24 hours to 7 days 7 to 14 days 14 – 30 days 30 – 60 days 60 – 90 days 90 days to 6 months 6 – 9 months 9 – 12 months 1 – 2 years 2 – 3 years More than 3 years People put up the hands and support is given by clapping for their achievements. He then asks whether there are any birthdays or landmarks that anyone would like to share. As they say how long they have been clean, tags are handed out for those achievements and the woman who is handing out the tags gives the person a hug. Below is a picture of the different tags that each addict receives for each landmark: He advises the meeting that the views expressed by the individuals there, do not necessarily show the view of the NA and if anyone is interested in any of the official literature, the literature person will talk about it. The literature rep stands up and advises on what books are available Living clean Just for today How it works and why (12 steps and stories of addicts worldwide) Sponsorship guide The step working guide She explains what each book is about and the price so that if anyone would like to purchase the literature, you will be able to do so after the meeting. There are also various pamphlets that are available. The chairperson then introduces the topic he has chosen for the evening and interprets how the topic relates to his life and then opens the floor so that any of the addicts are open to speak. Only the chair knows what the topic is going to be for the evening. Once everyone has had their turn to share and before closing the meeting he asks: Is there anyone who still feels the need to share Does anyone have a burning issue? Does anyone just have an issue staying clean today? They address these issues separately after the meeting. Chairperson thanks all for sharing and reminds all that what they see and hear here remains here. The seventh tradition states that they are self-supporting through their own contributions. They then send around a donation basket where generous donations are requested. Newcomers and visitors are asked not to contribute and to consider themselves as guests. â€Å"Just for today† is then read, this is the last preamble. He then asks that everyone stands up and holds hands, all the addicts in the meeting and some guests who have attended before say in unison – â€Å"As long as I follow, I have nothing to fear†. The Chair then asks that we take a moment of silence for babies born into active addiction and addicts suffering inside and outside the rooms. The meeting is then ended with the serenity prayer, God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can and the wisdom to know the difference. Keep coming back, it wor ks if you work it and work it because you’re worth it. Personal story of recovery: I felt it was important not to share the stories I had heard in the meeting as per the request made by the chairperson. I was however able to find personal stories of recovery from addiction available on the NA website so I have chosen to rather share a published story instead. This is the story about Greg C, the topic: Letting Go: On the 12th of September, it will be the 20th anniversary of my baby brother’s death. A good couple of years ago when things were running wild, I took him into my drug business and he was that kind of a guy, a stray dog, so I knew I had to take him under my care but I was happy to do so as he was a great guy. I just got back from Australia and it was a very successful trip and there was nothing in town so I went back to Cape Town. In hindsight, the three months before his death, I was already giving him a hard time about all the money that was outstanding but in my heart I knew that he had already used it and all he needed to do was tell me that he had used it and I wouldn’t have minded. So this Wednesday the 12th, I started  my period of self-destruction. I called him and he hadn’t come down from my parents place and they told me that he hadn’t woken up. My whole life just shattered and it took me 10 years of self-destruction, hitting financial rock bot tom and ending up in the emergency room for a heroin overdose and a number of 48 hours spent in prison cells to get over this. What was my struggle with this? Was I to blame for getting him into this drug world? Was it the guilt that I had treated him badly for the last three months cause if I knew he was going to die three months before I would not have cared what he used or what money he owed me cause I’d pay anything today to get him back. When I walked into NA 10 years ago, I came in like everyone else, rough and wounded. Still with that street bravado and they spoke about surrender. It took me six days to get there; I cleaned and showered, looked in the mirror and then went back to my room to use again. Eventually when I got here, it was somebody’s 1 year anniversary. I was really tired of using about two years before I got here. That birthday meeting was the greatest motivation for me because someone was clean for 365 days. I followed all the steps they told me to do and then they told me to let go. It took me 6 years before I let go of the guilt and let go about what I felt happened with Rowan. It was the most freeing aspect of my recovery was when I was able to put that stuff down and move on with my life. The other things had all changed; I got myself a job and had good friends. It was tough; I made in a month what I used in a day. It took two years before I started seeing the materialistic things of this fellowship but I was still walking around with this baggage. It took me a good 5 nearly 6 years before I let go with Rowan and by that time I was fu lly living NA, I was completely involved for seven and a half years, whatever service came up, I volunteered in the fellowship. I had quite a lot of things to get over, had a lot of meetings where addicts wouldn’t pitch and I took that personally, I had to let that go as well. About two and a half years ago I thought it was time to move out of this fellowship and go and get myself a life and start living. I managed to let go of the service stuff of NA but it was time to let it go and my sponsor thought it was time to let it go, I didn’t want to let it go, but I knew I had to let it go. I was still working for the same company and a lot of things were promised to me and that didn’t happen, so obviously I built up a lot of resentment there. I built this picture up in  my mind that I always needed a lot of money to start up my own business and I suppose it was all fear and paranoia to stay in this comfort zone. Anyway, I stopped coming to meetings, only popped in every now and again when it was someone’s birthday, that sort of thing. Not being around, nobody asked me to share and slowly my connection to NA slowly drifted. One thing is for sure and that’s what was promised to me when I first joined and that’s if I follow the 5 simple rules that my need to use will slowly be lifted. Two and a half years when I left, my obsession to use had been lifted a nd I felt no need to use. Eventually after many years of frustration, I decided to throw in the towel where I was and forget my fear that I needed all this money to start a business. I left there, I bought a few cars and put them on a few friend’s stands and they were selling the cars for me and I was living a half retired life, going to the gym, go swimming, go do this and that. Things still weren’t comfortable on the inside, I was still out of sink and I knew I was still carrying around a bit of stuff and slowly I was drifting into more insanity by not being connected to this place. And then it all happened at once, I knew I was insane, I knew I had to get back to a meeting. I’d heard and read enough of it to know that I had to get back to a meeting. I found a home group and at the same time found a car lot for sale, managed to buy it and put my cars on there and now I have a good business. I know that I have to show up, I have to tell the truth; I have to live with honor, do what I’m responsible for and leave the rest of the results to my higher power. When I look back at the ten years as I have been part of this fellowship, all the good things that have happened in my life, I’ve only realized that it happened after it did and I didn’t even know it was happening; which tells me that the only way I’m going to stay c lean is to let things go, stay focused and stay plugged into this place. Love having my sponsor, I get an objective point of view for my life. What actually happened to me 10 years ago and I only realized this a few months ago is that I was in the middle of a desert with a bag on my back with everything I owned and a bakkie pulled up and a man said, jump on the back, I’ll give you a lift. First thing I wanted to do is take control of the situation and ask are you going in my direction. The voice said – there is only one road. I got onto the back of this bakkie and I stood there with the heavy pack on my back for I don’t know how long on  this ride. It was hot and heavy. The bakkie slowed down, and this voice said, I stopped to give you a ride, take the pack off, sit down and enjoy the ride. And no sooner did I do that and the scenery changed to the most magnificent view and I’ve been enjoying it ever since. My Reflections: My concerns were what to expect and how to approach the meeting as I have not attended something like it before. I did not want to seem judgmental in any way as I have no idea what the reasons are for these people turning to drugs, only that they were looking for a way to stay clean. I know from what â€Å"Ally† has told me that they support each other and try to work through their problems and triggers together. My perception of what to expect and what I experienced was greatly different. I expected a counsellor to be present and do most of the talking as I have witnessed on the various interviews conducted on the UNISA DVD’s. This was not the case at all, everyone who felt the need to share did so and so much support was given to each person for the accomplishments that I felt an appreciation for such a support group. My discussions with â€Å"Ally† helped me tremendously to prepare for what I was going to enter upon. This was an open meeting where friends, fam ily and other support people were allowed to attend; this made me more comfortable as I would not be the only new comer or outsider present at the meeting. This was definitely an eye opening experience for me. From the moment I arrived till the time that I left, I felt so accepted by all. I think I might even have had a moment where I felt that I wished I was an addict so that I could come back. This group was more than a bunch of addicts coming together to talk about their problems, they were like a family, talking and sharing, caring for each other and praising each other for their accomplishments. I was truly moved by the experience and feel a better understanding for what â€Å"Ally† has gone through. I hope that when she feels the need to use that she will feel comfortable enough to talk to me and I will support her as best I can. Conclusions about the helping relationship I have to come to the realization that many find the support they need in groups. They feel comfort in knowing that they are not alone in this struggle. Many feel guilty for what they have put their families through  and therefore I also find it important that the families also attend these meetings. This not only shows support for the addict but also helps them to understand what it is like to be an addict. I think it may be difficult for a family to believe what an addict says but when they hear it from many, it becomes more believable and easier to accept. References: http://www.na.org

Family Expecations Essay

I have found that family expectations are both problematic as well as helpful as I have grown and matured.   My family’s expectations revolve around our shared histories and aspirations as well as their perceptions of what I might be successful at or enjoy in life.   On the other hand, my life outside of my family has developed to a point where I gain encouragement and confirmation about my abilities and projections from other sources, such as my peers, my work, and through socializing. My ultimate priorities are up to me and only I can determine whether or not I am meeting my expectations no matter what my family believes.   That being said, pressures and expectations from my family has helped me to identify certain paths that I might prove successful for me in the long term.   My family usually has my best intentions in mind when they discuss their expectations for me and that can be a comforting and confidence inspiring motivation.   Additionally, if I have doubts about meeting my expectations, my family is there to advise me on what they feel I should or should not be doing in a particular situation based on their wisdom and previous experiences. In contrast, I often feel that my family’s expectations for me are based around what they knew of me as a younger adult or child.   Instead of asking me about my current goals and projects, often times they will revert back to telling me what my dreams were as a kid, or even worse, what dreams they had for me when I was a kid.   I understand that they are trying to be optimistic and positive influences on me, but at the same time I have grown up outside of my family and have created new ideas and goals for my future; not the necessarily the future that they always have had envisioned for me. Prioritizing family expectations is a balancing act for me because I want to make my family proud while at the same time living life according to my own principles.   This can be a difficult terrain to traverse, but ultimately it leads to more open and honest discussions about the best way to live life.   In our family, these discussions can at times become heated, but they are always interesting and we come out of them with newfound respect and hopes for the future. I have found that sometimes not living up to family expectations has been the most fruitful decisions I have personally made in my life.   Making my own choices and following my dreams in spite of my family’s expectations has paid off.   My family is proud of me for having the courage and the ambition to follow through on what I believe in.   If that is in fact their ultimate expectation for me, then I have found the balance necessary to surpass those expectations in the face of all obstacles.